Etiquette

礼 (lǐ) means ritual, courtesy, good manners. At a Chinese table, drinking is above all a way of honouring the people you share it with. The rules can look complicated, but they follow one simple idea: show respect, and never drink alone. Customs vary between regions, generations and occasions, and younger people are often more relaxed, but the basics below will serve you well anywhere.

Who drinks first

At a formal dinner, the host opens the drinking with a first toast, usually to welcome everyone. Wait for it before you touch your glass. The most important guests often sit close to the host. After the first toast, drinking happens through toasts all through the meal: drinking on your own, without toasting anyone, is unusual.

Toasting someone

To toast someone is 敬酒 (jìngjiǔ). You raise your glass to a person or to the table, say a few words, and drink together. When someone toasts you, it is polite to toast them back later in the meal: this is called 回敬 (huíjìng). Guests often go round the table to toast the host and the most senior people, sometimes standing up and walking over to them.

Ganbei, or just a sip

干杯 (gānbēi) literally means "dry the cup": when someone says it, you are expected to empty your glass. Since baijiu glasses are tiny, this is less dramatic than it sounds, but a long dinner can bring many toasts.

If you would rather not empty your glass, say 随意 (suíyì), "as you like", and take a small sip instead. It is widely accepted, especially among friends.

Keep your glass low

When you clink glasses with the host, an elder or someone senior to you, hold the rim of your glass slightly lower than theirs. It is a sign of respect, and you will often see two people politely competing to hold their glass lowest. For an important toast, hold the glass with both hands, or support it with the left hand under the base.

If you cannot reach someone's glass, especially at a large round table, tap your glass lightly on the table or on the turntable instead.

Pouring

Fill your neighbours' glasses before your own, and never let a guest's glass stay empty. Baijiu and wine glasses are filled generously, following the saying 酒满茶半, "wine full, tea half". When someone pours for you, you can tap two fingers lightly on the table as a silent thank you.

Pacing yourself

A banquet can include many toasts. Eat as you drink, take small sips when the toast allows it, and drink water or tea between toasts. Nobody expects a foreign guest to keep up with everyone.

Saying no

It is perfectly polite to refuse. Say you are driving, 开车 (kāichē), that you do not drink for health reasons, or raise your tea instead: 以茶代酒 (yǐ chá dài jiǔ), "tea in place of alcohol". Refuse with a smile and still join the toasts with your tea.

Drinking games

At informal dinners you may see 划拳 (huáquán), a fast finger-guessing game in which the loser drinks. Watch a round or two before joining in.

Casual drinking

With beer at a street-food table or among friends, the mood is relaxed, but you still toast before drinking. Clinking bottles, refilling each other's glasses and the occasional ganbei are all part of the fun.

In short

Wait for the host's toast, toast others and toast back, keep your glass lower than your elders', pour for others first, pace yourself, and remember that 随意 and 以茶代酒 are always acceptable

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